It matters. That's why.

Oh goodness. I haven't written anything on this blog since November?!

Yikes. 

Well, I moved states in the beginning of December. I'm settling into my new home nicely.

Then it was Christmas.

Then New Year's. 

Then January...I got a new job in January! As a receptionist in a busy office. Think of Pam Beasley from "The Office" but with a lot less sexual innuendos from my coworkers. 

Mostly because my coworkers are two very sweet ladies. :)  

But anyway - I've been working a lot. And it's wonderful, but it's hard.

I work hard for my money. :) And when that paycheck comes in every week, I find myself wrinkling my nose at it. 

"Is that IT?! Working 40 hours a week, that's all I'm making?!" 

And even though I'm getting paid more than fairly, I get discouraged. My bills keep coming and then I remember I am starting my "official" doula training soon. It is going to be a lot of money, a lot of investment.

And it's overwhelming sometimes. 

Well, I woke up one morning about a week ago to a long Facebook message from a friend telling me her new baby girl's birth story and how her postpartum time is going so far. 

She shared intimate details about the sights, sounds, and feelings of birth that, in this new mama's mind, were still so vivid it seemed she could reach out and touch them. She wrote so beautifully, shared so honestly about the raw emotion, the unspeakable love she feels for her daughter. She let me into her world.

She didn't have to do that.

And I don't even know if she knows this, but I was moved and I was honored.

When people share details with me like that, I'm reminded why I'm studying to be a doula, why I'm pouring so much money into even more education...this is after college! 

Why? 

I'm doing it because it is a privilege to be invited into someone's world during such a fragile, precious, and irreplaceable time in their life.

I'm doing it because I love it.

I'm doing it because no matter what people say, it matters.

I love all the Facebook messages in my inbox. It's like my little office!

The message from the mama-to-be completely fed-up with waiting for her little one to arrive, needing encouragement. The long, novel-like letter from the mother who shared her birth story because it meant so much to her. The story from the mother who asked for my opinion about home pregnancy tests because she wasn't positive she was pregnant and she wanted to make sure she was doing right by her little one. 

It all matters. 

It all matters...so damn much.

That's my why for following my passion.

<3